Support for Children

April 28, 2022

One in seven children and young people under the age of 18 will have lived with domestic violence at some point in their childhood.   Are the effects the same…

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One in seven children and young people under the age of 18 will have lived with domestic violence at some point in their childhood.

 

Are the effects the same for every child?

Children can experience both short and long term cognitive, behavioural and emotional effects as a result of witnessing domestic abuse. Each child will respond differently to trauma and some may be resilient and not exhibit any negative effects.

Children’s responses to the trauma of witnessing domestic abuse may vary according to a multitude of factors including, but not limited to, age, race, sex and stage of development. It is equally important to remember that these responses may also be caused by something other than witnessing domestic abuse.

Children are individuals and may respond to witnessing abuse in different ways. These are some of the effects described in a briefing by the Royal College of Psychiatrists:

• Anxiety and depression
• Difficulty sleeping, nightmares or flashbacks and can be easily startled.
• Report physical symptoms such as tummy aches and may start to wet their bed.
• Temper tantrums and problems with school
• Behaving as though they are much younger than they are.
• They may become aggressive or they may internalise their distress and withdraw from other people
• Lowered sense of self-worth
• Older children may begin to play truant, start to use alcohol or drugs, begin to self-harm by taking overdoses or cutting themselves or have an eating disorder
• Children may also feel angry, guilty, insecure, alone, frightened, powerless or confused. They may have ambivalent feelings towards both the abuser and the non-abusing parent.

 

Do children grow up to be abusers and/or victims?

The “cycle of violence” otherwise known as the “intergenerational theory” is often referred to when considering the effects of domestic abuse on children; however research findings are inconsistent, and there is no automatic cause and effect relationship.

We believe that this theory is disempowering and ineffective when working with children. A boy who has witnessed domestic abuse does not have to grow up to be an abuser and a girl does not have to become a victim of domestic abuse later in life.

Educational programmes focusing on healthy relationships, and challenging gender inequality, sexual stereotyping, and domestic abuse, should be integrated with work on anti-bullying and conflict resolution as a mandatory part of the PHSE curriculum in all schools. These would act as important preventive measures.

 

Abuse through child contact

Unfortunately, even after separating from their abusers, many mothers find it extremely difficult to protect their children from ongoing abuse as a result of their requirement to comply with contact orders made by the family courts. Women’s Aid supports a child’s right to safe contact, but recognises that contact with an abusing parent may not always be in a child’s best interest.

 

How we work with Children

Every child’s experience of Domestic Abuse will vary. From the moment a family arrive in refuge, our skilled Child Support Officers are available to offer children one to one support and group sessions within the playrooms. They help children settle in to refuge life and to overcome their anxiety . Offering creative /messy play activities such as sand & water play, drawing , painting and junk modelling, can help children cope with and express their feelings. Creativity provides children  with new opportunities for trying out their ideas and solving problems together.  This helps improve their resilience and confidence.

 

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